Stress is not good for studying.

I almost studied for this qualification a year ago, but I was so worried about money and my lack of work that I could not focus on it. So delayed a year. However the sad truth; this year my financial situation is even worse. In a couple of days time my work ends. When I switched to this work I had hoped that my temporary status would become permanent and things would be okay or I could try and treat the summer holiday as that despite being unpaid and therefore a time in which to study like mad before hopefully finding work in September. Instead I am just getting more and more demoralised. In fact worse than that.

On Saturday I was supposed to be visiting a conference on my research topic. Various disasters on route,where I thought I needed an Oyster card top up, then could not remember my pin number, took an hour to get the top up,then realised that I did not need it in the first place meant I got to the conference two hours late. The bits I heard were worth hearing. But it means a great opportunity to make contacts was probably lost. I was lost too I tried a different route home and landed up going back on myself. Stress. So on Sunday I was too shattered to attempt another trip to London to catch up with the rest of the students. I am not sure who was supposed to be there, but I was hoping to see two students who have offered to help with my research, but have not sent me anything so far, unless they have done my online survey.


Some of the participants at the event included artist Gloria Ojularia Sule. http://www.gloarts.co.uk/. I asolutely loved some of her work, large murals, just the kind of thing I would like to paint. She was not brought up by her Nigerian dad or her British mum, being put in a home instead, but the power of her heritgage and the need to engage in it, shines through her work, as you can see in the picture above.

I also heard Dr Kevin Searle, I don't know enough about his story, but he said that he was not a great achiever, working in Tescoes when the lyrics of Rap made him start to really engage in education. He now has a PhD in the subject. He delivers his views a bit like a rap artist, young, energised, passionate, a bit unco-ordinated and very interesting, definitely a different type of academic. Though most I come across are infinitely more hip than I remember last time round. I gave him a copy of my research questionnaire, but do not know if there will be a chance to follow up on it with him.

One good thing on the rare occasions I get around to reading I really enjoy the information I am gaining. A book on Masculinities had a lot of illuminating stuff and amazingly the chapter I have just read on research ethnography in another book was also good. I feel I am really updating my theory knowledge in this field, just massive amounts to go.

taking it quiet

Not too much to report. A few more people have done the Monkey Survey including people I do not know at all, so that is very nice.

I am thinking a lot about how to do my presentation next September and still following up with more organisations trying to find a group of people to work with, but most of the time there is no response at all.

So treading water really till the holiday comes and I can try and do some real work on things.

Survey Link updated.

Hi I am having a few problems with Monkey Survey so this is a new link. I have also updated some of the questions as a result of seeing how some people have answered the questions.

Meanwhile a big thank you to those who have responded and a plea for as much depth as possible from those who are thinking of particpating. And if you are interested in taking part in more in depth research please do get in touch.

I have contacte a number of organisations hoping that they may be able to suggest ways to develop my research especially with my key target group. These organisations include Family and Parenting Institute, Intermix, People in Harmony, Mixd, Generation Next, WAC, Learning Trust. Some of these organisations I have links with however, at present I have not really been able to establish a dialogue with any of them. However, I do know I also need to follow up some of my emails with phone calls so still hoping that something may come of these occasional blasts of emailing people, meanwhile if you want to take part the link is below.

New link:

Can you help with my creative media research?  Thanks.
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/2CJF5GP

Untutored.

Could someone tell me why it is I finish work at 1pm, only have to eat lunch, have a rest, pop into see Nathan in Camden and get to South Bank by 4.30 that I get there at 4.45!! I did rush up to my tutors office, tapped on the door and then realised her doorwas locked, but her coat and bag were inside, so patiently waited . At 5.5 I realised someone was in the room. My tutor, but she had to go!!!! It is the hottest day of the year. I was carrying a bag weighing about two tons, I urgently needed to see her. So why did I bugger it up?

A few kind friends have said that they will do the survey monkey research, but sadly all attempts to click thru to the site have failed. I am hoping that they will be kind enough to try again via this blog.

Lots of ideas.

At three o clock last night I suddenly had an idea. Perhaps I should contact a few schools and colleges, especially ones I have a link with from my exam work and suggest that they run the Media in the Mix concept as an induction assignment for their media and multi media students. Of course I got all excited and even envisaged a Media in the Mix trademark as the whole idea of media reflection boxes gets embedded in media studies.

The first day of the seminar also gave me a chance to reflect on what to do if I cannot get enough participants. I have foolishly tried to persuade my "friends" to get move involved with my project. I have done this cos really they are the heart of my idea and I thought if I could answer all their questions their resistance would melt, but it did not. I started out as a single white parent with a black child over 20 years ago and they did this journey with me so of course I wanted them to share it with me. I thought that they were on board and that it would be a great excuse for four women to get together and reminisce. Instead it has turned contentious and I have plain given up on my friends. Clearly there is something about the research that they do not want to engage in. I don't know what I would have done if I had realised this before I applied for the Masters as their support had encouraged me in my application, it was not full blown or in depth, just there. But now apart from the third friend who delivered immediately and without questions my "friends" input is very limited. But when I gave my seminar presentation in which I acknowledged that I hit problems, my tutor handed me another approach. I could go back to my own experience and really build on that. As a result I have decided that I will try and do somekind of installation that involves my video, the video I did with my friend and then take it from there.

I have also managed to negotiate something with my local library that is not quite what I started with but will add to my knowledge.

Seminar was inspirational. This time I enjoyed all the presentations and it was really interesting to listen to the ideas of my colleague students and see how they organise their work. There are some very impressive ideas out there and I appreciated the thoughtful input of the tutors. I also came across absolute resistance. Not the first time on this research. Some white people bristle and say I do not see difference, some mixed people bristle and say, I am not black and I bristle when I think people are being prejudiced. I have to bite my tongue and remember sometimes help comes from unexpected places so not too feel too alienated and judgemental at this point. Three people have also said that what help they can give me they will so I need to follow up on that right now.

What the Dickens are we up to?

A good end to the first day of the June Seminar, which consisted of us all updating each other on our projects. I benefitted from going last and being able to take my rather unorganised thoughts and put them together in the way my colleagues have done theirs. We then had a fantastic and inspirational talk by someone who showed us their performance/poetry website. Before being taken on a literary walk to seek inspiration in Dickens footsteps. I am absolutely shattered but seeing everyone's ideas and how they have developed since January was lovely.

Tomorrow we have to think about where do we go from here.

Survey Monkey

I have been recommended Survey Monkey: a way of producing a simple survey and get responses. It does not enable me to target my audience, but I think it is worth trying so if you want to try it, hopefully it will work, click here: Click here to take survey