Sitting in the Garden.

My son is sitting in the garden, reading The Hobbit and listening to Radio 3. The truth is young black British culture is much much wider than is evidenced in the media.

Meanwhile we have finished our last two interviews and I have done some work to capture the videos, but a long way to go and a lot to think about in terms of how to put the material together.

Time to dream and time to work.

I was supposed to spend summer working on this project, but with the demoralization brought on by my impending unemployment, a week away in Spain to lift the spirits seemed more in order. Normally on these trips the UK comes out very badly and the alternative culture very well, but actually for once it was all the UK bit of the journey that work and accomodation and transport in Spain that was more problematic. But I spent a good week away meeting Spaniards and trying to forget my troubles. The crisis there is worse than here, but we all had a good time. Madrid seemed to have more graffiti on walls even in posh places than London, but whether that is knowledge opening my eyes I do not know. And the art in the Sofia Reine gallery was huge sometimes disturbing and definitely displacing, but perhaps that is what it should be.

But I came home determined to catch up a bit and so spent the day at my brothers trying to get to grips with photoshop. I like what I have done, but had to come back home to print the stuff and was once again confronted by problems cos of the lack of memory left on my computer. I also seem to have lots of ink cartridges but none with any ink in them, so my print is very faded, but at least I have some sense of what it should look like. So thanks to bro for the lend of equipment and thanks to nephew for his patience and good instruction.

Not getting there

Today is the 4th of August. By now I should have a full scale photo of me and Nathan, back and front manipulated to contain media images. However, one I have not managed to get a photo of Nathan and myself, two the only photo I have is of me, and I realised after Jennie, my sister, had kindly taken it, that I only had the front. Three I have no memory left on my big computer with which to manipulate the image, and 4 I have now left work which is where I hope to laminate this lifesize image of Nathan and me that is supposed to be the centre point for my presentation in September.

I don't know how but last seminar this image just popped into my head of a kind of holy family, Leonardo type thing and I decided to try and create an image of Nathan and me in that triangular type shape, but instead of a child in my lap I was going to have a lap top, with the film on it. I wanted there to be an ambiguity cos how come the child is in the position of the father, I was also wondering to make a mask instead of Nathan's face, to reflect all the people in that positioin. I was very excited and wanted to share the idea with my tutor, but I never met her and when we had our phone tutorial did not feel I could quite express in case she dished the idea. Then at work I had to laminate some images and just happened to do it all in one strip, I loved the effect so much, that I decided instead of a stuffed model of me and Nathan that I would create life size picture of us, with our media references.

So a lot has not happened and originally I was thinking okay when I go back to work in September I can do it, but I really do not know if I am going back, so......

Also on the one day off and I had a chance to follow up sending my ideas or talking to groups to see if they wanted to work with me, I do not know I just did not feel ready for it. I have emailed everyone, some of them more than once a number of them like WAC I have a small connection with and only two organisation responded. The first one has not responded a second time, the second one Helen Barrett, from the Family Parenting Institute was kind enough to meet with me, and there may be things in the endthat can come out of the conversation, but at the moment the organisation is going in a direction that does not really chime with what I am doing.

However, I am still reading a bit and enjoying that, and on Monday I spent the whole day looking through home movies to see if I can use some in conjunction with Nathan's interview. I did that at the university as I no longer have a video editor it was nice, now I need to film a second interview with Nathan so have to pin him down

I am just as difficult to pin down In my search for work I may have found something, but it is Spain, so what will that mean for my studies. I do not know I have summer to get on with things and will just have to take stock at the end of summer.